So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
