Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
