I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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