I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
