She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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