He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
