I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
