The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
