Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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