She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
