I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
