after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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