I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
