I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
