i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
