The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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