omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
