hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
