I heard we made out
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
