ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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