i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
In other news, I just burned my penis
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
