Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
