did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
