I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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