Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
