do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
