I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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