He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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