now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
wow bdsm is so cute
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
