im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
