I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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