if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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