I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
BRING THE BAGELS
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
