i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
