This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
