just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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