So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
