God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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