remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So much rum. So many feels.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
