Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
