Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
