He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
