I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
