My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
