I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
