I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
