My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
