she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
