I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
