She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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