please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Boobs are out for the taking
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
